Post by Canetoad on Apr 28, 2007 1:45:14 GMT -5
UKM (Ultimate Killing Machine)
RATING TBA
HALF A STAR
SOMEONE stole and hour and a half of my life, and I’ll never get it back.
That bastard is David Mitchell, who wrote and directed possibly one of the biggest loads of unadulterated tripe I have seen in recent months – and trust me, giving my viewing habits, that is one big call.
You’d think when you see an actor the calibre of Michael Masden (Kill Bill, Sin City, and ‘Mr Blonde’ in Reservoir Dogs) in a flick, that it had some potential.
Wrong. The poor bugger must have fallen on hard times or was doing a very large favour for a mate to have participated in this rubbish.
The premise – and here’s one we’ve never seen before! – is a top secret military establishment where an experiment to build an uber-soldier (the aforesaid Ultimate Killing Machine) goes predictably pear-shaped.
Thrown into the dingy facility are four misfit army recruits who are all injected with a cocktail of something or other to turn them into UKMs… though the original test subject is loose in the facility and he’s not well pleased with his lot in life.
Now we have an excuse for lots of running through subterranean corridors in bad lighting with the exchange of equally bad dialogue in between the odd burst of gunfire.
Most B-grade horror films at least throw you some decent gore or a bit of gratuitous nudity as a consolation prize, but UKM pretty much fails on these fronts as well.
I think someone escapes in the end. I don’t really remember and care even less.
Try watching the test pattern on your tv. It’s much more interesting and least some thought went into its design.
RATING TBA
HALF A STAR
SOMEONE stole and hour and a half of my life, and I’ll never get it back.
That bastard is David Mitchell, who wrote and directed possibly one of the biggest loads of unadulterated tripe I have seen in recent months – and trust me, giving my viewing habits, that is one big call.
You’d think when you see an actor the calibre of Michael Masden (Kill Bill, Sin City, and ‘Mr Blonde’ in Reservoir Dogs) in a flick, that it had some potential.
Wrong. The poor bugger must have fallen on hard times or was doing a very large favour for a mate to have participated in this rubbish.
The premise – and here’s one we’ve never seen before! – is a top secret military establishment where an experiment to build an uber-soldier (the aforesaid Ultimate Killing Machine) goes predictably pear-shaped.
Thrown into the dingy facility are four misfit army recruits who are all injected with a cocktail of something or other to turn them into UKMs… though the original test subject is loose in the facility and he’s not well pleased with his lot in life.
Now we have an excuse for lots of running through subterranean corridors in bad lighting with the exchange of equally bad dialogue in between the odd burst of gunfire.
Most B-grade horror films at least throw you some decent gore or a bit of gratuitous nudity as a consolation prize, but UKM pretty much fails on these fronts as well.
I think someone escapes in the end. I don’t really remember and care even less.
Try watching the test pattern on your tv. It’s much more interesting and least some thought went into its design.
HMaM Global Mod
