Post by Canetoad on Sept 15, 2007 3:38:00 GMT -5
POOR me. Another 90 minutes of my life I won’t get back.
Daniel Myrick – the director of the very effective Blair Witch Project is responsible for this tripe, which tries hard, so very hard, but just falls flat on its slightly pretentious arse.
Believers is the latest in Myrick’s Raw Feed series (the not too bad Sublime and pretty ordinary Rest Stop preceded it), and I really hope he lifts his game from here.
Ostensibly Believers is horror. Wrong.
It’s actually a slow-paced and quite clichéd thriller about cults and brainwashing.
OK, plot time. Listen up.
Two paramedics attend an emergency call somewhere in the backwoods of nowhereville USA and end up being abducted by a mysterious cult.
Tonight’s the night, you see, that the holy ‘’formula’’ (a mathematical thingy that is never really explained) has directed them to top themselves in a mass suicide so they can be transbobulated (whatever) across the galaxy to start the human race all over again because the world is gonna end in a rain of fire any day now.
Right, glad that’s out of the way.
One of our paramedics ends up being swayed toward the cult, the other’s a sort of poor man’s Bruce Willis - minus the charisma, the guns and the wit.
What we end up with is an interminably slow-paced blancmange which sees our hero spend most of the film locked in a dunny, interspersed with psycho-babble from the cult leader, ‘The Teacher’.
It almost got interesting at one point with an implied resurrection, but then that was never explained either.
And the ‘’twist’’ ending you can see coming at you like a freight train.
Avoid, unless the only other thing you have to occupy your time is cleaning the oven.
Actually, forget that. Clean the oven instead. It will be more rewarding.
ONE STAR
Daniel Myrick – the director of the very effective Blair Witch Project is responsible for this tripe, which tries hard, so very hard, but just falls flat on its slightly pretentious arse.
Believers is the latest in Myrick’s Raw Feed series (the not too bad Sublime and pretty ordinary Rest Stop preceded it), and I really hope he lifts his game from here.
Ostensibly Believers is horror. Wrong.
It’s actually a slow-paced and quite clichéd thriller about cults and brainwashing.
OK, plot time. Listen up.
Two paramedics attend an emergency call somewhere in the backwoods of nowhereville USA and end up being abducted by a mysterious cult.
Tonight’s the night, you see, that the holy ‘’formula’’ (a mathematical thingy that is never really explained) has directed them to top themselves in a mass suicide so they can be transbobulated (whatever) across the galaxy to start the human race all over again because the world is gonna end in a rain of fire any day now.
Right, glad that’s out of the way.
One of our paramedics ends up being swayed toward the cult, the other’s a sort of poor man’s Bruce Willis - minus the charisma, the guns and the wit.
What we end up with is an interminably slow-paced blancmange which sees our hero spend most of the film locked in a dunny, interspersed with psycho-babble from the cult leader, ‘The Teacher’.
It almost got interesting at one point with an implied resurrection, but then that was never explained either.
And the ‘’twist’’ ending you can see coming at you like a freight train.
Avoid, unless the only other thing you have to occupy your time is cleaning the oven.
Actually, forget that. Clean the oven instead. It will be more rewarding.
ONE STAR